       THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY 
 
TIPS AND HINTS ON SOLVING THIS INFOCOM GAME BY

   KEITH JEFFERSON of the St.Louis AUG.

             Earth, Vogons, Babel Fish
 
 Put your "DON'T PANIC!" button on your gown, grab your towel and get ready to don those peril sensitive sunglasses because you're about to go on one of the strangest adventures from Infocom to date: THE HITCHHIKER'S G UIDE TO THE GALAXY!
 
 You wake up and notice everything is dark...have you gone blind? No, just turn on the lights. Oooh, your aching head!  Yourealize you must'v e had just one drink too many at the party last night. Time to get out of be d. Stand up, get 
your gown and put it on. As you do, you notice something in your pocket. All this activity isn't helping your hangover any, so look in your pocket. Ah, an analgesic! Take the analgesic. Feeling better? Good! Now get the screwdriver andthe toothbrush. Oh! What was that noise? What's that big, yellow bulldozer doinamout there? Better go outside and find out!
 
 Go south to your front porch, collect your mail, and south to your front yard.
 
The big, yellow bulldozer is heading straight for you! And this lunatic is shouting at you to get the hell out of the way! Don't Panic! Humanity hasn't gone completely insane, just lie down in front of the bulldozer. The driver (who's getting Union Scale wages) doesn't mind this minor inconvenience and stops the 'dozer within inches of you!
 
 As Prosser madly waves his arms about and shouts at you, you see your friend, Ford Prefect, hurrying toward you. Now what does he want? Oh, he's come to return the towel he borrowed from you. Nope, don't take it. As Ford insists on returning the towel, you tell him about your house and Prosser's intentions. Ford, who was about ready to leave the Earth (which is being demolished to make way for a new Hyperspace Bypass), decides, insanely, to take you with him!  But seeing that you're not about to budge until your house's future has been assured, goes to Prosser, gesticulates toward you and the bulldozer, and convinces Prosser to take your place in the mud. What a friend! The bulldozer driver, in the meantime, sits calmly and dreams of overtime.
 
 After you've regained your feet, take the towel from Ford and go south and westwith Ford into the Pub. Buy a cheese sandwich from the barman, drink the three beers Ford has given you, and listen as he explains what's about to happen to 
 
the Earth. Somehow, the situation regarding your house keeps creeping back into your mind, and Ford's words make little sense to you. All of a sudden, you hear a crashing sound that can only be the death throes of your poor house being demolished! Get up and go east.
 
 A small dog comes yapping up to you. It's obvious the poor thing hasn't eaten in several days. The humanitarian within you surfaces.  Give the cheese sandwich to the dog. The poor, ravenous thing is in puppy heaven! As it devours the meal you've provided, it completely ignores a microscopic space fleet that just happens to be passing by at the moment! No time to wonder about this miracle, though. Go north and wait. Now look! Overhead, you see huge yellow machinery that amazingly resembles monstrously oversized bulldozers! Good God!  What's happening? Suddenly, gale-force winds blow across the landscape, whipping trees around! Ford appears by your side and is fumbling around with a strange looking device! The thing your Aunt gave you tumbles away, but the wind is blowing so hard you can't get it!  
 Ford drops the device and it lands at your feet. He seems to be trying to tell you something, but the wind carries his words away! Pick up the device and examine it. You see red and green lights and note that it's curiously shaped.  Itappears to be shaped like a hitchhiker's thumb! Quickly push the green button and everything goes....
 
 Dark. You will find yourself spending a lot of time in the dark in this game, so get used to the series of events you have to follow in order to see where youare. Do "looks" (which takes fewer moves than "waits"). Each "DARK" sequence takes 4 looks until you regain one of your missing senses.  When you recover thatsense, perform it. If you can see, type "SEE". If you can hear, type "LISTEN". If you can smell, type "SMELL". If you can feel, type "FEEL". If you can taste, type "TASTE". Right now, though, your 4 LOOKS will tell you that you have regained your sense of smell.
 
 Smell the shadowy figure and then look at the figure. Ah, it's Ford and you find that the Sub-Etha Signalling Device has landed you a ride on one of the Vogon Construction Ships! Ford hands you some peanuts to replace the energy you lost during the hitchhiking transfer. Eat the peanuts then look around you. Whata disgusting place this is! But there are a few interesting items here which youwill explore as soon as Ford decides to take his nap. Before he does, he hands you an odd contraption and tells you it's THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and that it contains all sorts of useful information.  After Ford nods off, remove your gown and hang it on the hook, cover the drain with your towel, get Ford's satchel and put it in front of the panel and put your junk mail on top ofthe satchel. I've had you do this correctly so that you can get the Babel Fish the first time.  You might want to save your game and try getting the Babel Fish without putting the junk mail on the satchel, just so you can see what happens. Now, examine the dispensing machine and consult the Guide about Babel Fish.
 
 You learn that Babel Fish, when placed firmly in one's ear, are universal translating devices! Flip the switch on the glass case that's housing the Plotter. Strange words issue forth, but it's all garbled and you can't understand one syllable of it! Better get a Babel Fish pretty soon! Push the button on the dispensing machine and watch the circus!  As the Babel Fish comes flying out of the chute, a tiny cleaning robot comes skittering across the room.The Babel Fish hits the gown, slides down the sleeve and lands on the towel (which is covering the drain). The little robot grabs the Babel Fish and goes tearing across the room toward its service panel. Just as it gets there, it smacks into Ford's satchel and loses its grip on the Babel Fish! The Babel Fish and the junk mail go flying up into the air where an upper-half-of-the-roomcleaning robot is frantically gathering up the junk mail! So intent is it upon the mail that the Babel Fish falls and lands in your ear! SQUISH!  Who said junk mail was useless!
 
 Now, flip the switch on the glass case again. It will tell you how to open the case so that you can get the Sub-Atomic Plotter. Poetry? Ah well, worse things could happen. Write down which word of the poetry you'll have to type in becauseit changes from game to game; and if you type in the wrong word, you'll blow yourself to teensy little bits! Get your robe and the towel. Ford will get his satchel. Put your gown back on and put everything you're carrying into the Thingyour Aunt gave you (yes, it came back...it will ALWAYS come back to you, no matter how many times you try to lose it!) and put the Thing in your robe pocket. By now, you should be hearing warnings about hitchhikers coming over theintercom system. Just wait until the guards come for you.
 
 Eventually, the Vogons will find you and take you to the Vogon Captain, who is a cruel cuss! He'll subject you to his poetry, but don't panic! Just sit back, relax and enjoy it.  Literally! Enjoy the Poetry. So gratified is the Captain by your enjoyment, that he decides to read you the second verse! Now listen carefully, and when he reads the word the glass case told you about, write it down. He appears impressed that you've been able to withstand his poetry; and instead of killing you and Ford outright, he decides to "space" you! Argh! This is better than death? You betcha!
 
 Pretty soon, you're going to type something in wrong along the way.  Your typingerror has been noted, and sometime soon, you'll get the results of your foolish error! It seems that those erroneous words have started some sort of space war that has destroyed an entire world! The remaining members of that doomed civilization are not happy about it either, and they're out gunning for you!
 
 When you're returned to the hold, type the word from the poetry on the keyboardof the case. The case opens and the plotter is yours!  Take the plotter. (If yourload is too heavy, put everything you're carrying into the Thing and put the Thing in your pocket.) Ford tries to talk the guard into letting you both go free, but the guard will have none of that and throws you and Ford into the Airlock. Ford sits pondering your respective fates and comes up with an equationabout the probability of being picked up by another ship in the vicinity. Unfortunately, the odds aren't too good and as you and Ford are unceremoniously sucked out into space, the Guide bleeps to life and says that you can hyperventilate in space for 29 seconds before you explode!  Ugh! Just as you reach your 29 second limit, you're picked up by a passing ship and find yourselfin the....
 
 Dark! Talk about miracles! Go through the "LOOK" routine and eventually you regain your sense of hearing. LISTEN. You hear a sound to port, but as you try to go port, you find that the program is lying to you! Instead go south. Aha! You find yourself on the Heart of Gold (HOG)! Ignore the brochure, it's not important, and letFord lead you to the Bridge. When you get there, you see two strangers (who begin to look familiar). Hmmm, Trillian and that two-headed guy with her were at that party last night! They greet Ford and eventually all threeof them head port, leaving you quite alone. Get the pincers, the Pocket Fluff from your gown's pocket, the handbag and put them in the Thing. Drop the plotterand the Sub-Etha Signalling Device and go down and aft three times.
 
 As you try to go aft the third time, the program asks you if you really want togo in there. Tell it YES. It asks if you're serious!  Tell it YES again! The program will decide you really didn't mean it and take you fore. Go aft twice.  The program will ask you if you want to reconsider. Tell it NO. Be persistant and eventually, you will be allowed to enter the doorway. As if not letting you enter wasn't enough, now the program will tell you there's really nothing here to see. Again, it's lying, so look two times. Aha!  There's a rasp, pliers and a Spare Improbability Drive here! Get the rasp and pliers, put them in the Thing, put the Thing in your pocket and get the Drive.
 
 Eventually, you'll meet Marvin, the Paranoid Android. He'll depress the heck out of you, but there's nothing you can do about that. He wanders in and out, but just ignore him for now. His use will be made known at the end of the game.
 
 Now go fore twice and port to the Galley. Look in the carton, get the gun and put the gun in the Thing. Now for some Brownian Motion (consult the Guide about this). Touch the pad and the machine whirrs a few seconds, then shoots a cup of Alternate Tea Substitute into the chute. Take the cup, go starboard and up to the Bridge.  Drop the Drive and the Cup of Tea Substitute. Let's get this contraption going!
 
 Put the small plug in the small receptacle and put the long dangly bit in the Tea Substitute. You're all set to begin some pretty far-out experiences! Since flipping the switch on the Plotter will take you to five random scenarios, they will be explained in separate sections of this walkthru. You may find yourself visiting one of the scenarios a second time, but you won't be able to do anything in them. You're automatically taken back to the dark and there's nothing to do but run through your "LOOK" routine. So flip the switch and you find yourself in the....
 
 Dark. Do the "LOOK" routine until you find your sense of hearing then LISTEN. It seems you've been returned to the HOG because you hear a sound to port. Again, the program's lying, so go aft instead.  Hey...this isn't the HOG! You seean awl laying here, so get the awl and put it in the Thing. Wait a minute...Who are these guys?  They seem to be in deep conversation. Listen to their conversation.  Uh-oh, YOU seem to the be the topic of discussion! Seems like thatsmall galaxy you wiped out with your careless typing has finally figured out what happened and is speeding toward Earth to do likewise! Just as the Vl'hurgs and G'guvunts arrive, they spy a huge dog tearing into a cheese sandwich!  As thefleet gets closer, the dog ignores it and finishes its meal. The obvious happiness of the dog is not lost on the aliens and with softened hearts, they head toward home, forgiving (and depositing you) along the way. But WHERE are you? You seem to have materialized inside your own brain!  The confusion in here is obvious because no matter where you go, you can't get anywhere. Just keep ploughing along (it doesn't matter which way you go, all directions are the same) until you find a dark particle. Examining it reveals it to be your Common Sense! Take your common sense and suddenly you find yourself in the....
 
 Dark. "LOOK" until you regain your sense of hearing, then LISTEN and go aft twice and up to the Bridge. Make sure that the Awl is safely tucked in the Thing. Flip the switch. As you do so, you find yourself in the....
 
 Dark. "LOOK" until you regain your sense of sight then SEE. A bright light is shining in your eyes. Look at the light and you find yourself looking at an alien sun! But IS it really? Type "WHO AM I" and you see that you're no longer Arthur Dent, but Zaphod Beeblebrox, President of the Universe! And you also discover that you're sitting in a speedboat which is currently heading toward some mighty rough looking rocks! Quickly steer the boat toward the spires. Now then, while you're waiting to arrive, look under the seat and get the key and the seat cushion fluff. Also take the tool box. Now, just wait until you get to the
                 er snooze!  
 Remove your towel from your head and go back west and southwest to the Beast's Inner Lair. Reposing here, in eternal rest, is an alien skeleton clutching a Nutrimat Interface in its hand! Get the Interface and wait. Suddenly you find yourself captured and placed in a cage in a zoo!  Amazingly, you've been mistakenfor the Bugblatter Beast! The nerve! Eventually, the zoo's error is duly discovered and you're released. Unfortunately, instead of being returned to the HOG, you've been given work as a paint scraper! After several months of experience, you are allowed to leave your job and take with you the tool of yourtrade...a paint chipper! Suddenly your surroundings shift and you find yourself in the....  
 Dark. "LOOK" until you regain your sense of hearing, then LISTEN and go aft twice and port to the Galley. Open the Nutrimat panel, remove the circuit board and put the Interface in the panel.  Close the panel and go starboard and up to the bridge. Put the chipper in the Thing, flip the switch and you find yourself in the....
 
 Dark. "LOOK" until you regain your sense of feeling, then FEEL. Odd, you seem to have your hand in some sort of liquid. Taste the liquid and you take a sip ofa nice white wine. It seems you're at a party! "WHO AM I" reveals that you're Tril to the Nutrimat and get another cup of tea!
 
 Touch the pad on the Nutrimat. As it whirrs to life, it gets completely confused regarding what it is you want and asks Eddie, the ship's computer, to lend it a hand. Eddie, in the meantime, has issued a warning that he's becoming overloaded with instructions and starts to panic! All around you, you hear shouts of anger, fear, hostility! Don't wait around for your tea, though! Go starboard and back up to the Bridge. When you arrive, you see that the HOG has, indeed, reached Magrathea! But the planet's inhabitants aren't to thrilled with this supposed invasion. Out the viewing screen, you see hundreds upon hundreds of missiles headed toward the HOG! No wonder everyone's panicking! Put the large 
plug in the large receptacle and flip the switch! As you watch the viewing screen in horror, you see the missiles turn into giant, harmless sperm whales! Ford, Trillian and Zaphod congratulate you on your fast thinking and return to their sauna, leaving you alone once more. (Whew...that was a CLOSE call!) 
 Go down and port back to the Galley. Sitting in the chute is a cup of Real Tea!Obviously the previous circuit board didn't know the molecular structure of realtea and the new Interface did! Get the real tea. As you pick it up, you find you've dropped no tea. Get No Tea. Wow...this is truly amazing! Well, no time towonder about this for long, so go starboard and back up to the Bridge. Remove the long dangly bit from the tea substitute and drop your real tea. Put the longdangly bit in the real tea, drop everything except the Babel Fish and the Thing and flip the switch. Strangely, you find yourself in the....
 
 Dark. "LOOK" until you regain your sense of touch, then FEEL. Your hand seems to be in some sort of liquid. Taste the liquid. UGH! It tastes like Whale Juice!My God! You're in the tummy of a giant Sperm Whale! Sitting here is a flowerpot.Get the pot, put it in the Thing and keep trying to go north until you find yourself back in the....
 
 Dark. "LOOK" until you regain your sense of hearing, then LISTEN and go aft twice and up to the Bridge. By now you should have all four fluffs. Plant the fluffs, one at a time, in the pot. Wait until the fluffs start to sprout and yousee a tiny stem in the pot. (Consult the Guide about Fluffs and required growingconditions.) Hmmmm, warmth and moisture? That steam coming from port might just do the trick! Go port. In a couple of hours, you emerge a changed man with a changed plant! Examine the plant and you see it has, indeed, had a fit of furious growth! It has also produced a fruit! Take the fruit and eat it.  
 In addition to the wonderful flavor of the fruit, you find yourself having a dream about Marvin, the broken Hatch Mechanism and Marvin asking you to hand hima tool. Remember that tool (it changes from game to game). As your dream fades, drop everything except the Babel Fish. If you find that you haven't got the toolthat the dream told you about, Don't Panic! You'll find it in Marvin's Pantry (which is behind the Screening Door). If you do have it, though, get the required tool, the Real Tea (and pick up your No Tea!), and go up and aft to theScreening Door. If you fooled with trying to open this door at the beginning of the game, you know that it needs proof of your intelligence before it will allowyou to open it.  
 What better proof than the fact that you're carrying Tea and No Tea at the sametime!? Open the door. In your encounters with Marvin you have felt his waves of depression pouring over you whenever he enters the room. Well, right through this door is the absolute soul of his depression!  Better drink something to calmyou before you enter here, so drink the Real Tea! Your quest for Real Tea was not wasted.  The tea is the most calming, wonderful substance you've ever tasted!Go port through the door.  
 If you didn't have the required tool, you should see it here. Also here is Marvin, moross and despondent as usual.  Tell Marvin to fix the Hatch. He'll grumble about nagging humans, but will tell you to meet him in the Hatch Mechanism Access in 12 turns. After he leaves (and you're sure you have the required tool), go starboard and down. Drop everything you're carrying except the Babel Fish and the required tool and go starboard again.
 
 After waiting awhile, Marvin will stalk into the room and look at the Mechanism. When he asks you to hand him the tool, do so. In short order, he repairs the Hatch Mechanism and leaves. Go port, open the Hatch and go down.  
 Timidly, you step down the steps. Eddie says something about humans who go out into strange environments without any clothing; but Zaphod, Trillian and Ford all urge your forward! As you plant your first step on the hitherto legendary planet of Magrathea, you wonder what fate awaits you! You'll have to wait to find out...in the sequel, perhaps?
 
 THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY 
 is copyrighted 1984 by Infocom, Inc.
 

              

T - 0:44:23 
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 meet him in the Hatch Mechanism Access in 12 turn
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